Date 1

I went on my first official date last night. He is what I call an inexperienced courteous-player. He’ll pick you up, drop you off, pay for stuff but in the end, its all about the sex. He is inexperienced because I saw through his game 30 minutes into the date. I always say to a guy, take me wherever…… to see where wherever is to him. I sat in this bar on the upper west side with him, cosmo in hand watching him watch girls in their 20’s, who were drunk, not that cute and couldnt really dance. And the music sucked! I thought to myself, Im the hottest thing in here. Next!

Im SO over guys with their one track minds. YES, sex is amazing…its the shit, its THE BOMB DIGGITY but DAMN…..that kind of sex comes from when you love someone on all levels. I know many will TRY to argue it to preserve as much sex as possible…but Im not buying it. That’s what I want. Someone who loves me on all levels…is that too much to ask? HUH?

You cut me with your lies

but still I rise. To watch your life from this perspective makes me laugh. How you are working the victim card is so predictable. Ha! And I know she’s buying it. If only she knew how many myspace pages you open and close cause youre such a drama queen.

Buh-Bye

I havent written in a while…went to italy (amazing) and since Ive been back Ive been keeping myself busy so I dont think about him. When I mean busy I mean I joined every fucking dating site there is. Which, for the record is more frustrating than fun. My x is mean as ever….his hoe keeps leaving me messages on her myspace and for that I shoot him emails that rip his heart out….by telling him the truth. I have to laugh though his “soul mate” cannot spell for shit. she has the word goddess in her email address but she forgot a d. this makes me giggle…i told him to get someone dumber than me cause he cant handle anyone with a brain and that’s exactly what he did. lol. And I wonder if i should email this hoe and tell her how he is on my page constantly and if I were her she should get face/body/brain job so he’ll be more interested. No. That’s not my style…that’s what this blog is for.

Heartbreaker… Dream maker… Love taker… dont you mess around with me!

My x is committing adultry on me. And slowly I start to remember nights he worked late and seemed to not care about me. phone calls that came too much. She works near the neighborhood that he works, both in the same field, employeed by the same company…has a six year old just like me. All this time he claimed he wanted to make it work, that he loved us…but that proved to be false…i was his punching bag instead. Now he’s buying her jewlery and taking her to the hotel we stayed at. Giving her all the love he promised me. I keep thinking…what the fuck did he marry me for. what were all those promises. why did he just flip on me that day. Fake tears. Fake love. Fake mutherfucker! All those birthdays and holidays ruined because of him…. he has destroyed red in ways im afraid to admit. I see it in his eyes…the innocence is gone.