Not as We

Alanis is speaking to me…her song Not as We grabs my heart and squeezes it.

Day one
day one
Start over again
Step one
step one
I’m barely making sense
For now I’m faking it
‘Til I’m psuedo-making it
From scratch
begin again
But this time I as “I”
And not as “we”

Gun-shy and shivering
Tear it without a hand
Feign brave but still intent
Little and hardly here

Day one
day one
Start over again
Step one
step one
I’m barely making sense
For now I’m faking it
‘Til I’m psuedo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as “I”
And not as “we”

Eyes wet,
Toward wide open freight
If God is taking bias,
I pray he wants to lose

Day one
day one
Start over again
Step one
step one
I’m barely making sense
For now I’m faking it
‘Til I’m psuedo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as “I”
And not as “we”

Im not the only one

Alanis Morissette’s song Straightjacket is STUCK in my head

This shit’s making me crazy
The way you nullify what’s in my head
You say one thing do another
And argue that’s not what you did
Your way’s making me mental
How you filter as skewed interpret
I swear you won’t be happy til
I am bound in a straight jacket

I thought I was the only one who went through this…but no, even Alanis can go through it.

I cant stand people who play games…everything is a competition…ugh

Mr. wonderful I wrote about a while back has disappeared…and Im clueless. Maybe its that I have a kid…maybe its because between his job, his other job, his titty shows, his manly insecurities and web surfing he has no time for love…just fucking around. Okay granted, Id like to fuck around too right now…I dont want to be tied to anyone but he’s not even showing interest….and its NOT because Im not hot…because I am

UGH!