Dear Mr. Somebody

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who will stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
He’ll get my support
He will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
He’ll hear me out
And wont easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact He’ll often disagree
But at the end of it all
He will understand me
Aaaahhhhh….

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone wholl help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I dont want to be tied
To anyones strings
Im carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when Im asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
Ill get away with it
Aaaahhhhh….

Not as We

Alanis is speaking to me…her song Not as We grabs my heart and squeezes it.

Day one
day one
Start over again
Step one
step one
I’m barely making sense
For now I’m faking it
‘Til I’m psuedo-making it
From scratch
begin again
But this time I as “I”
And not as “we”

Gun-shy and shivering
Tear it without a hand
Feign brave but still intent
Little and hardly here

Day one
day one
Start over again
Step one
step one
I’m barely making sense
For now I’m faking it
‘Til I’m psuedo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as “I”
And not as “we”

Eyes wet,
Toward wide open freight
If God is taking bias,
I pray he wants to lose

Day one
day one
Start over again
Step one
step one
I’m barely making sense
For now I’m faking it
‘Til I’m psuedo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as “I”
And not as “we”

Im not the only one

Alanis Morissette’s song Straightjacket is STUCK in my head

This shit’s making me crazy
The way you nullify what’s in my head
You say one thing do another
And argue that’s not what you did
Your way’s making me mental
How you filter as skewed interpret
I swear you won’t be happy til
I am bound in a straight jacket

I thought I was the only one who went through this…but no, even Alanis can go through it.

I cant stand people who play games…everything is a competition…ugh

Mr. wonderful I wrote about a while back has disappeared…and Im clueless. Maybe its that I have a kid…maybe its because between his job, his other job, his titty shows, his manly insecurities and web surfing he has no time for love…just fucking around. Okay granted, Id like to fuck around too right now…I dont want to be tied to anyone but he’s not even showing interest….and its NOT because Im not hot…because I am

UGH!

Today is the last day that Im using words

Words, they cut like a knife
Cut into my life
I don’t want to hear your words
They always attack
Please take them all back
If they’re yours I don’t want anymore

You think you’re so smart
You try to manipulate me
You try to humiliate with your words
You think you’re so chic
You write me beautiful letters
You think you’re so much better than me

But your actions speak louder than words
And they’re only words, unless they’re true
Your actions speak louder than promises
You’re inclined to make and inclined to break

You think you’re so shrewd
You try to bring me low
You try to gain control with your words

Friends they tried to warn me about you
He has good manners, he’s so romantic
But he’ll only make you blue
How can I explain to them
How could they know
I’m in love with your words
Your words

You think you’re so sly
I caught you at your game
You will not bring me shame with your words

Too much blinding light
Your touch, I’ve grown tired of your words
Words, words
A linguistic form that can meaningfully be spoken in isolation
Conversation, expression, a promise, a sigh
In short, a lie
A message from heaven, a signal from hell
I give you my word I’ll never tell
Language that is used in anger
Personal feelings signaling danger
A brief remark, an utterance, information
Don’t mince words, don’t be evasive
Speak your mind, be persuasive
A pledge, a commitment, communication, words